


The One Where Guys Can Get Pregnant and Spencer is a Diva (A Not-Fic)

by CobraPandemic



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Panic At The Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: Crack, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-18
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CobraPandemic/pseuds/CobraPandemic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where shit is just not fucking possible...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Words: Not many 1000-3000  
> Warning(s): PLOT HOLES GALORE!  
> Disclaimer: This isn't real. It is fake. It isn't even within the realm of human possibility.  
> A/N: So, I woke up about an hour before work with this idea and decided to get it all down and uploaded.

So, I woke up about an hour before work with this idea and decided to get it all down and uploaded before I left. So, here goes nothing...

 

In my world, Panic! still exists, don't worry. Consists of only Ryan, Spencer and Jon. Ryan never stopped being the lead singer and Brendon never joined. Brendon is going to school in Las Vegas studying Cosmetology. Is openly gay, Lives with roommate, Dallon. Dallon is still dating Breezy. They're not married. Don't have any babies yet.

 

Ian is around. Because in my world, Ian is a creepy (but totally sweet) Brendon stalker.

 

Anyway, Dallon drags Brendon to see his favorite band perform live. Brendon doesn't want to go because he has a final in a couple days. Ends up going because Dallon threatens to hook Brendon up with Ian if he doesn't. Brendon has no issue with Ian he'd just rather not fuck him is all.

 

So Brendon goes to the concert and ends up getting sick from all of the people and the mosh pit and just basically everything because he's kind of socially inept like that. So he goes out back behind the venue and sits against the wall and smokes the rest of the joint he had in his back pocket. After the set is over, Spencer ends up coming out back to have a cigarette after arguing with Ryan about something stupid. He asks Brendon if he has a lighter.

 

Brendon doesn't know who Spencer is (other than, whoa he's hot) so he gives Spencer his super cool Aladdin custom lighter to use and kind of maybe watches Spencer _extra_ carefully just in case he tries to steal it because Dallon _always_ tries to.

 

Spencer and Brendon end up talking and sharing the cig and joint. Zack comes out looking for Spencer and Spencer here's him calling him all like “Spencer fucking Smith where the HELL are you?”

 

So Spencer gets all hot and mischievous and basically wisps Brendon away and into his car. They go to...um...Wendys. And they talk and shit. And Spencer is all, “Whats your name.” Brendon tells him and asks Spencer the same thing. But Spencer is super famous and totally fucking cunning and goes, “James.”

 

And Brendon is totally staring at Spencer's hands and his arms and his BEARD. Spencer laughs at Brendon because Bren likes to dip his fries in his strawberry frosty. Brendon pouts. Spencer says he's adorable. Bren is shocked and thinks maybe Spencer is a drunkard because he looks kinda tipsy. And Spencer did have some beers on stage but he isn't wasted. Spencer asks Brendon back to his place. He's staying in an apartment or something. No wait. Um....Somehow they end up at BRENDON'S shitty apartment. Dallon is at Breezy's. So um. Spencer and Brendon chill and smoke up and watch reruns of Boy Meets World. Spencer says he'd fuck the crap out of Cory Mathews and Brendon is super turned by it.

 

Then, um...They get super high and end up making out. And somewhere along the way they fuck.

The next morning Spencer isn't there. Leaves Brendon a note or something saying it was great but hes got to get back on the road or something and says he'll totally give Bren a call. Signs it James. Brendon isn't too upset just chalks it up to Spencer(James) being a dick or something.

 

Time passes. Brendon starts to develop morning sickness. Has to take off of work at the Smoothie Hut. Urmmmm....doesn't think anything of it. Just thinks its a bug he caught or some of the gross Mexican food Ian brought over. He keeps getting sick. Get's irritable. Craves shit. So one night in Walmart while looking for almonds to put in his raspberry sherbert he goes down an isle to grab condoms for Dallon. Because Breezy had a preggo scare. She used like sixteen preggo tests. She was sick at the same time Brendon had been. They thought they had the same thing cause their symptoms were the same. But this gets Bren thinking. And he, out of curiosity, buys five different pregnancy tests. Just to be sure.

 

He sneaks them in while Dallon is in the kitchen. Goes in the bathroom. Takes all of them. Bites his nails to the nubs while he waits...They're all positive. He freaks the fuck out. Doesn't tell anyone though for quite a while.

 

Ummmm...he gets all depressed. Is afraid to see a doctor. Thinks of ways to get rid of it. He sees a girl in his Cosmo class whose pregnant and the girl's all happy and shit and Bren sees the light so he decides to at least tell Dallon but when he gets home Dallon and Breezy are arguing because Dallon found the Brens old positive tests and Dallon thinks Breezy is preggers and hiding it from him. So Brendon's all "They're mine" and Dallon is all, "The fuck, you're fucking gay." and Brendon is all "Fuck you, I know that." but explains it all to them and they're all o_O because no fucking way is that shit at all biologically possible. But eventually Breezy is all ^_^ "I'm SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU BRENDON!" But Dallon is still kind of like o__o "Dude..."

 

So after Dallon stops freaking the hell out and Ian stops crying over Brendon not being able to be in a monogamous relationship with him, shit starts going good. Untillllll, Dallon asks, "So urm, who’s the dad...other dad. Father?" And Brendon is all "Um...hold on..." Cause he kind of forgot who he fucked last, what with all the shit going on at the current time. And then he says "Guy from the concert we went to. Think his name was James or whatever." And Dallon is all, "Does he know?" And Brendon is all -_- "No." So Dallon lets it go before Brendon strangles him or something equally or more painful.

 

So like Brendon starts showing eventually. And one day he's watching MTV and shit because there's this talk of a Fall Out Boy reunion and he's curious okay? So while he's enthralled in MTV News a story comes up and its all. "MULTIPLATIMUN BAND PANIC(no ! Because its technically around the time when Pretty Odd is out) AT THE DISCO TAKE THE SPLIT!" And Brendon is vaguely aware that that's Dallon's stupid fav band and Dallon had been crying over their split lately. And Brendon is about to turn when Fucking JAMES is RIGHT there on the television. And he's all "We were just heading in different directions musically, you know. We're all still on speaking terms and I think it's just time to do our own things." And on the caption below it reads 'Spencer Smith: Drummer and Founding Member' And Brendon is all O_O!!! And then hes all O___o and then its -_- because he's carrying that lying douche's kid!

 

At this point, Dallon comes in and Brendon is on the computer and on Twitter. And he is all "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING DRUMMER IN THAT FUCKING BAND'S TWITTER?" And Dallon is all "Um, what?" Brendon glares all scary-pregnant-guy-like and screams, "SPENCER SMITH! WHAT'S HIS TWITTER? I KNOW YOU KNOW!"

 

So Dallon tells Bren and Brendon sends Spencer like eighty direct messages all saying 'this is brendon from vegas. we hooked up after your show and fucked in my bed. you said your name was james you fucking liar. but whatever you knocked me up. not even fucking around here. so fucking call me you little shit' And leaves it at that for a while.

 

So maybe like...six or seven days pass and at this point lets say Brendon is um...three months? But anyway Brendon just got home from work and is lounging on the sofa by himself because Dallon is the worst roommate/slave/midwife ever. And the Brendon's iPhone is all “RINGY DINGY DINGY” So Brendon picks up without looking at the caller I.D.

 

And its fucking James...er...Spencer and he's all, “Don't send shit like that to my fucking twitter, dude. Seriously. It's not funny.” And Brendon is all 'Bitch, please' in his head but says, “It's not meant to be a joke. I'm three months pregnant, you cunt.” But Spencer is such a skeptical, know-it-all bitch that they end up arguing over the biology of the said situation for two hours before Spencer goes, “Well, shit.”

 

So in favor of ending this not-fic before I have to go to work, we'll say that Spencer flies out to Vegas and totally falls in love with Brendon. They have a boy and name him...Maika. Maika James Urie-Smith or Maika James Smith-Urie. But definitely Maika Because I _love_ There for Tomorrow! By the way why aren't there any TfT fics?!!! I'll go handle that! Any way...Um...because I still love Jon and Ryan, we'll say they are super successful with the Young Veins, right? And maybe after Brendon has the baby he, Dallon and Ian join Spencer and they ALL write Vices and Virtues annnnnnd, they're super famous again and Fall Out Boy totally DOES get back together and all's well in Cobrapandemic's silly little world of Not where everything is perfect and boys can get pregnant.

 

The End!

:)


	2. Chapter 2

I don’t really know where to begin, here. I suppose beginning at the beginning is the best. I’ll start by saying sorry. I have been missing from AO3 for something to the tune of five years. The last time I uploaded or even wrote anything was when I was at the prime age of 19. Well, hello, I’m 24 and after reading the messages from everyone who took the time to read my fics, I have decided to keep writing.

I don’t know if anyone will read this, if anyone will give a shit, but the bandom has evolved. We’ve lost some bands, we’ve gotten others back. Some have disappeared completely. But they live on in our hearts- just as inspiring and homo-erotic as we all love to remember. 

Some of you guys are long time enjoyers of my content and I would love to hear your preferences on my current unfinished works and what you want to be updated first.

I will begin uploading again on Friday, October 13th with a nice spoopy drabble for you all to feast upon. I do however need some suggestions. That means if you’d like a specific pairing, maybe a specific band, scenario, setting… Just leave it in the comments and I will work with what I receive. 

It will be a 3-part anthology. I will shoot for a solid three stories and attempt to tie them together by the final chapter (think, American Horror Story: Bandom).

It’s going to be fucking awesome. 

Again, thank you guys for your continued support over the years here on AO3 and I can’t wait to hear some of your ideas!

-Cobrapandemic


End file.
